More Moo's Random

Breakfast alien - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

A teenager, tired and angry, pouring himself a bowl of bland Measly Pops breakfast cereal, when a little plastic space toy falls from the pack. A meaningless junk premium from the cereal corporation. "What the fuck is this?" is all he asks before chowing down on the bland, yet crunchy cereal.

Nick Nork and the pork-carving Stork - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

I sat around for a week and a half waiting to leave Bangalore. I had time to kill. I wrote a story that has one of those Dr. Suess tempos to it. It's called The Tale of Nick Nork, and its about this guy who goes out on a walk and meets a stork who's a dork, serving pork, with a fork etc etc. This is what they looked like. How I distracted myself in the days before finally leaving Bangalore. How i stayed sane and intact.

The Bullfighter's Testicle - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

A tribute to this gruesome Spanish bloodsport, where rarely, the animal wins. This is the Death Bull, that despite victoriously removing the bullfighter's testicle, in a fair fight, is now marked down as dead. But for now, it's Bull 1. Stupidity 0.

Moo's Random

Chaos. Stupidity. Luck. 

Ad agency senior management meeting. Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

The purple goblins of the ad agency, gathered around the buggery pole, complete with burning tire, in a magic clearing in the mythical emerald forest. Wankers. They've just milked the last quarter's profits and are enjoying a fatted feast of pork and wine followed by a big bag of cocaine. No one else gets invited, so things get a bit spurious.

Authority - Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

Like an Aesop's fable, this painting could be called 'the Chillum and the Match'. It's to remind those belligerent authority types that in reality they are little more than a stinking smoky dope pipe, ranting away at a matchstick. This painting would be most suitable for the smoking lounge in a five star hotel where all too often the conversations are gloated and more often than not, utterly boring.

Bad Neighborhood - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

Saturday night, sometime back in 1971. Some guy walks out of The Colonel's with his bucket of heavily fried chicken. A VW Kombi waits in the car park. A V8 Cougar rolls down the strip. A very ordinary scene, reduced down to the scale of a Hot Wheels set. I was there. This was my neighborhood as a kid.

More Moo's Cyclops

Shark - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

A fish that demands some respect, so I don't eat them. I just leave them alone. Only if you're unlucky will they eat you, but statistically that's pretty unlikely to happen. You have more chance of being killed by an explosion in a fireworks factory than being eaten alive by a shark. This one's a Mako. A fast, deep water fish that's always hungry.

Ant with Milk Bottle - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

Every Australian knows what a Milk Bottle is. For those of you that don't, it's a soft sweet candy, extruded and molded into the shape of a milk bottle. It's texture is glutinous smooth and thick, like condensed milk from the tube, only much slower. Full of milky goodness. I once saw an ant trying to carry off a milk bottle candy. It was pathetic. It must have weighed about 100 times its weight and was all sticky and glued to the pavement. Yet the ant persisted, like a stupid little tiny machine. 

Ant in Bubblegum - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

Ants pick up anything they can carry. This one thought he was clever attempting to bring a blob of bubblegum back to the nest. The more he tried to get in position to lift it, the more he became entombed in a sticky pink nebulous glob. This is what greed can look like.  And, for an ant, this is a horrible death. 

More Moo's Cyclops

Landing NASA Pathfinder - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

What if HG Wells was right, and Mars was inhabited by an intelligence vastly superior to our own. What would they think of the long, drawn-out landing of the bouncing NASA Pathfinder? They'd probably get really bored, very quickly and blast it with their heat ray.

Encounter on the Ice - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

Before launching an invasion, the martians will send out recon units to every corner of the earth. Here, a martian tripod watches on as Soviet submarine watches it. The martian would probably just blast the submarine with its heat ray and the Soviet navy would keep it secret, claiming the sub went down after a collision with an iceberg.

Exploration of the Moon - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

If Mars was inhabited by an intelligence vastly superior to ours, it would make sense that they will already be on our moon. In this painting a martian tripod has been woken up by the arrival of man, pissed off and cranky, after a long lazy sleep in a lunar crater.

More Moo's Cyclops

Water Tap - Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

I have no idea really, why i sketched this out in the first place. But i liked the sketch so i did a canvas. The canvas turned out better than the sketch. It's a water tap with some level of intelligence, despite appearing otherwise.

The Multi-tasker - Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

The anti- cyclops. Today's new generation of myopically optimistic, enthusiastically compulsive, computer geeky. They throw around acronyms like 'IT, CEO, IPO as if they mean something. They're so clever... and can do so much. This one has a button to press.

Martian Octopoid - Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

This could one of the occupants of the Martian tripods from War of the Worlds. A strange Martian octopoid, not much different from an Earthly octopus, but with a removed indifference, and infinitely more intelligence than us. To him, we are just ants. Big soft ants. That are easy to kill with a heat ray.

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Industrial Strength Vacuum Cleaner - Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

I like re-designing objects, then anthro-morphising them and giving them some level of intelligence. I like the idea of machines that dont require human operators. This is a heavy duty vacuum cleaner that operates autonomously, crawling around looking for random garbage to suck up and digest.

Automatic Pool Cleaner - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

Another anthro-morphised object. This is one of those Kreepy Krawly's that automatically clean swimming pools by themselves. Feeling their way along, sucking the scum off the bottom and sides of the pool, as if it has autonomous mechanical intelligence. A manufactured, blue plastic, aquatic lifeform.

Apollo 8 - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

I remember the simplicity of being a little kid in the late 60's when the space race was on. I remember the naiive animated TV graphics they used to describe the missions. And how the moon always seemed to sort of look back at us. From the TV. This was man's first close look at the moon in 1968. It was also the moon's first close look at man.

Moo's Cyclops

Autonomy. Mechanical Intelligence. Invasion.

Invasion. A Tribute to HG Wells- Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

When Orson Wells did the infamous radio broadcast, in the 1930's, New York went into panic, thinking the water towers were the invading tripods. This is my take on HG Wells' tripods. An invasion, by a race of deadly mechanical machines with vastly more intelligence than us.

Mechanical evil eye- Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

Evil eyes are used in many cultures to ward off evil spirits. I painted this one for the kids bedroom, to watch over them as they sleep, keeping an ever-watching eye on any evil in the room.

Organic evil eye- Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

This is the partner for Mechanical evil eye. An omni-present stare from an organic life-form that is half flower, half meat sausage.

More of Moo's Third World

The Wreck of Air Somalia - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

A metaphor for the failed nation state of Somalia. The quiet wreck of the national carrier  lying broken and decaying in some lonely field, watched over by some drugged-up goat herder with an AK-47. I wanted the airliner to appear like it just rolled out to the field, dropped and died. After doing this painting i did a Google search and found a pic of an aircraft for sale in Russia that once belonged to the failed Air Somalia. It's paint job almost identical to mine.

Bangalore by Bus - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

After two and a half years it was time to leave Bangalore. I found myself torn between two emotions: "i hate this place'" and "i really fucking hate this place".
This is my salute to the dysfunctional city and people of Bangalore. A painting of those shitty old blue and white city buses, with the psychotic driver and rows of oppressed citizens inside. A bus ride that goes nowhere fast.

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The Moroccan nightclub - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

Another painting of evil gingerbread men. This is the Indonesian heroin dealer and the Moroccan nightclub owner, bumping into each other. They co-exist in a "your last shipment was cut" or "you got the money you owe me?" kind of way. Hence, pulling a gun on each other is a standard practice in the murky, international muslim underworld.

The Temporary Driver - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

The regular propane truck driver is sick with dengue fever. So he sends for his wife's young cousin from Kerala to make the rounds. Despite driving the rig well, smoking a spliff while transferring propane from tank to tank is one way to end a very short career in the indian trucking industry.

The Queue - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

Indians have a different - some would say total lack of - sense of personal space. As for queuing in an orderly fashion, forget it. The person behind the counter doesn't care. So it's  push and shove your way to the front with everyone else like some desperate peasant fighting for free milk. This is the queue for medical blood test results at Manipal Hospital in Bangalore.

More of Moo's Third World

Indian Domestic Services - a trilogy of shame
1. The Dishonest House Maid - Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

Being an expat in Bangalore, you usually hire some help around the house. More often than not there's a multitude of trivial reasons to fire them and 'get someone else'. Here, the housemaid is caught in that decisive moment, crossing the line and lifting a dollar she 'found' while sweeping.

2. The Rat Catcher - Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

Rats live in every city on Earth. Bangalore included. This guy was called in by building management to kill the rat in apartment 408. It took 3 days, and he charged for 3 days.

3. The Toilet Plumber - Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

Another guy sent from building management in Bangalore. No big story here, just a leaking, turd-blocked toilet to fix. Again. He carries the omni-present, rusty F wrench. It's only purpose, to identify him as The Toilet Plumber. 

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Somalians - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

I've been to Kenya, Ethiopia and Uganda, but not Somalia. Who the fuck wants to go to Somalia? I did a Google search and in a lot of photos, this is what the place looked like. Gangs of grinning, coke-crazed, trigger-happy lunatics in Toyotas loaded with AK-47s, M-50s and RPGs. Hopelessly lawless and dangerously insane. I'll paint them from a safe distance.

Taliban fighter, Afghanistan - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

This Afghani-Taliban fighter has just taken out a US Marines helicopter with his RPG. A weapon the CIA supplied the mujahidin with, to take out Soviet helicopter gunships during their failed invasion of Afghanistan. When you look at the long history of failed invasions of Afghanistan, it's little wonder they now take out US helicopters with US made weapons. An ironic, yet predictable example of what goes around, comes around.

The Arabs barbecue - Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

This could be Dubai or Bahrain. Just a few of the boys barbecuing some imported steaks and drinking cold imported beer in the stifling 40 degree heat and humidity. Their conversation would be about real estate, oil prices, Russian girls or Mercedes Benz, but as the afternoon wears on, be sprinkled with a liberal dose of bravado and innuendo.

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Escape from the KKK - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

A scene from 1950's Hicksville USA when the Ku Klux Klan roamed around the Baptist Belt of the Southern states, lynching blacks for no good reason at all. Here, the tables have been turned. The brother has a 38 revolver. He may be out-numbered but is going to shoot his way out of this one.

Lang Hancock - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

A portrait of the imposing West Australian mining magnate. Lang's dead now, but in his heyday between the 50's and 80's he was larger than life. Lang had some personality and a larger than life wife too, the notorious Rose who spent most of her time talking to the media and appearing on TV. Some have said that Lang just got on with it and didn't care too much with things like, say, indigenous land rights, but these were the good ol' days when a handshake would seal a deal. 

Please buy my intestines - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

Another southern Indian muslim guy. i saw him in some local meat market in Bangalore, offering a string of paradise spiced cow gut sausage, with a generous serve of heavenly desperation. Notice the boning knife, at the ready. A defense against any outraged Hindu his grisly wares may offend.

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Beijing Embassy Guard - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

Every embassy in Beijing has a detail of disciplined, inscrutable military guards posted outside. They stand at attention, sharp and rigid, every day, hot or cold, day and night. Strong and incorruptible. Beijing also has a lot beautiful women, so you wonder sometimes if these guards find them at all distracting.

Do Not Urine Here - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

Bangalore has a lot of government and military bases in quiet, cleaner streets, that are surrounded by big walls and barbed wire. Perfect place for the auto-rickshaw driver to take a leak. Being a muslim, this guy probably can't read english, and if he did, he'd ignore it anyway, preferring to quietly piss on anything belonging to the Indian government.

Netas Ambassador - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

The Hindustan Motors Ambassador has long been the choice of indian politicians and is an icon of India. Indian politicians though, rarely achieve icon status. Unless they are assassinated. Probably why their Ambassadors now have black-tinted windows. So the Netas can sit in the back, unrecognized in self-absorbed loathing and contempt. Dark and unseen.

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Arrested in Texas - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

A fairly typical scene from the highways of America. Just like those real-life cop shows, where nearly every 'suspect' the white highway cops chase, is a black guy, out-numbered usually two to one. Notice the genetic differences between the arresting highway patrol officers and the suspect.

Preeti the Silly Schoolgirl - Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

Indian schoolgirls are little living monuments to the 1950s. Victims of unchanged dress codes: sad, over-szed uniforms and thick braided hair. Preeti will go on to have an arranged marriage and keep her family happy. But that's of little consequence now, when dealing with the small, annoying traumas that almost define daily life in India.

Indian Truck Welder - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

I saw this scene in Bangalore one hot day: some guy, casually standing there, arc-welding the front of a ubiquitous Indian truck, on the side of the road. No welding goggles. No shoes. No care. I wonder if he drove the truck home that night. With big blue and white spots before his eyes.

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What's wrong with the Kebab? - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

Life's not all easy for meat eaters in parts of Southern India. Not when you're a muslim. This guy  could be the midnight kebab cook. It's late, and he doesn't want to hear his kebab tastes like shit. Or he could be the late night auto rickshaw driver. There's not much he likes in life anyway. Why should this kebab be any different?

Air China Pilot - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

I can understand why you see so many pilots eating junk food at Hong Kong airport. The food on the aircraft may be free, but even this guy won't eat the lunch from the cardboard box on an Air China flight. He needs a quick greasy hit to give him the strength to shoulder the responsibility of having 200 plus lives in his hands for hours on end.

Evil Gingerbread Men - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm

This could have been named 'blatant corruption' but that would have been too blatant. Yet this is how it so often is in the murky, sleazy world of indian politics, where millions of rupee in a brown paper bag, is passed from one Netas, to another. Each lining their pockets with the public purse. I wanted to show these guys as evil gingerbread men doing  their evil practices with their evil little gingerbread hands.

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African Dope Thief - Acrylic on Canvas 90cm x 120cm

I've heard a lot of stories about drugs and Africans. Ask anyone who has grown dope in Africa and the story is the same: some desperate guy being caught red-handed helping himself to someone else's dope crop in the middle of the night.  It's all there: African. Drugs. Busted.

Scooter Ogre - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90 cm

Another scene from Bangalore, but could be anywhere in India. A fat, angry bureaucrat, barging his way through traffic on his grey 30 year old scooter. This one, caught in my headlights. A road ogre, appearing from the darkness.

Kuwait 1991 - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90 cm

A retreating Iraqi soldier, with AK-47 and grenades, in the Kuwait desert, admiring the oil well fires he has just ignited, at the end of the first Gulf War. If you look closely under his right boot, he about to trip a land-mine. Some might say it serves him right.

Moo's Third World

Tradition. Ubiquity. Paranoia

"Killing an Arab" - Acrylic on Canvas 120cm x 90cm
The senseless beach killing scene from Albert Camus' The Outsider. That moment when the poor Arab guy, who was minding his own business, has just been shot, asking "what the fuck did you shoot me for?" A lonely desolate beach, the backdrop for a pitiful and utterly pointless act.